First hand experience with depression and being a church staff member is my life. (BR, Oct. 24) I still have to take three different medications to help me control my mind and to keep me calm and bearable to my family and life.
On top of this monster called depression I have experienced a stroke, and in the last month a heart attack. But I still go to my church each Sunday and put on the face of “I am glad to be alive” ... while in truth I think daily about death. My conclusion is that depression is an illness and I am under the care of a doctor who gives me 15 minutes about every 6-8 weeks. Tell me to think about my family, who loves me and cares for me, but in truth it is fear of my own pain that is keeping me from this.
When I needed help from church sponsored counseling I was turned away because I could not afford to pay for the service. So I continue to fight my moods and pray sometimes for death to visit as the pain I have physically and emotionally is great. But what do I do?
Name withheld by request