No wonder they call it the 'Web'

By Tim Wilkins
Cross Ministries
Of the more than 40,000 species of spiders, most of them spin webs in which to trap their prey. The Internet can just as easily immobilize the user, entangling him or her in a web. Is it possible to use the Web's advantages without becoming entangled in its snare? Yes, but with all its conveniences, it has its downside. Like a malfunctioning toilet, the Internet can deliver sewage directly into your home and office. An estimated 20,000 pornographic Web sites exist that are visited by as many as 20 million adults each month.

Someone who would never enter an adult bookstore for fear of being seen will let the adult bookstore enter their home, office, or study through the Web. Did you note I said 'study' as in 'pastor's study'?

Statistics show that more and more pastors are struggling with Internet pornography. Focus on the Family's Pastoral Care line reported that 11 percent of its calls in August 1999 were about pastors and on-line porn.

Clay Crosse, a Christian musician, has spoken publicly about his struggle with and freedom from pornography. His courageous candor has been a wake-up call to many Christians around the country.

As director of an outreach ministry to the homosexual, I am frequently contacted by gay men who quickly confess their struggle with Internet porn.

But Web porn is not peculiar to gay men. Straight men are as easily enticed to spend hours perusing the unlimited stream of pictures on their monitor.

C. S. Lewis wrote "... we grow up surrounded by propaganda in favor of unchastity. There are people who want to keep our sex instinct inflamed in order to make money out of us. Because, of course, a man with an obsession is a man who has very little sales resistance."

In 1994 pornography generated $10 billion.

I can hardly begin to recount the calls I get from parents whose teenagers are viewing porn online - some as young as 13. And in most cases the teen has a computer in his room with full Internet access. That is comparable to buying your son a lifelong subscription to every hard-core porn magazine in the world!

For many women the lure of the Internet is chatrooms. 'Innocent' conversation can eventually lead to carnality. Web porn leads viewers to prefer the fantasy world with themselves or others instead of relational sex with their spouse. A loving wife who has been neglected by her porn-crazed husband begins to feel unloved. Paul wrote that to deprive a spouse from sexual intimacy could allow Satan to gain a stronghold and lead to immorality.

Steps to take to avoid porn
Note that I used the word 'avoid' instead of 'resist.' Paul wrote, "It is God's will that you should ... avoid sexual immorality." If we 'avoid' sexual temptation, we are less likely to have to 'resist' it. 'Resist' means we are already confronted with the temptation.

Disconnect from the Internet. Also known as a 'modemectomy,' this option is often met with incredulity. "I can't do that! I need the Internet for my work!" Jesus prescribed radical advice saying that if your hand, foot or eye causes you to sin, get rid of it! Obviously Jesus was not speaking literally, but using hyperbole to make a point. Can't disconnect? Try fasting from the Internet 30-90 days.

The parents of an 18-year-old son were concerned about him viewing gay pornography on-line and chatting with an adult male predator. I learned later the father didn't want to disconnect from the internet because he was secretly viewing Web pornography.

Ask a friend to provide accountability. Check out www.covenanteyes.net which e-mails questionable Web sites you've visited to your accountability partner.

Use a filtering system or a clean internet provider. There are many such systems: www.info.lifewayonline.com, www.afafilter.com, www.familyclick.com, and www.hedge.org.

The system, Watchdog, takes random screen shots of what's on your monitor and keeps text log of all computer program usage. It also searches and displays a list of all graphics, even if someone has tried to hide them. Watchdog can be found at www.charlesriver.com/WD.html.

Move the computer to a high traffic area in your home. It is difficult to search for porn when the computer sits in the family room or kitchen.

Allow teens to surf only under adult supervision. Even if the computer is in a high traffic area, limit its use to those times when mom or dad is nearby.

Get what you need and get off the Web.

Stay off the Web late at night when fatigue makes you vulnerable to temptation. A tired body is a tempted body.

Fortify your computer and workspace. Be creative by placing scripture on your screen saver. It may pertain specifically to sexual temptation (Prov 6:25 and Rom 13:13, for example). Use a family photo. A picture of your wife is a reminder of your commitment to her.

Randomly or regularly check e-mail transmissions and Web history. One family randomly checks their children's e-mail transmissions for both sent and received mail. A church has a different staff person check the history of each computer each month. Keeping the history is a requirement.

Visit these sites for help with Web porn: www.enough.org, www.pureintimacy.org, and www.parsonage.org

Don't ask "how much can I get away with and not be caught?" The prudent man knows that "the true mark of a Christian man is measured in what he would do if he knew he would never be found out!"

(EDITOR'S NOTE-Wilkins lives in Raleigh and is director of CROSS Ministry.)

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